Thunderstorms
by Browndoggy03
Summary: Who knew Lorelai Gilmore was afraid of thunderstorms? No one. That's how she liked it. What happens when the only person who can soothe her is gone? Does he realize how much she needs her? What will it take to get him back? JavaJunkie. Set in season 7.


Thunder Storms

Lorelai Gilmore has always been afraid of thunderstorms. She always thought of it as a sign of weakness. As silly as it may be, she never told any one but Rory. Up until Luke. She tried to hide it, keep it on the down low. Never invite him over if there was a storm due. She didn't want him to think of her as the weak, small, afraid girl whom she turned into when there was a storm. Crazy as it sounds, she didn't want him to stop liking her. Loving her. Maybe he was crazy about her for the way she was tough, solid. She didn't want him to see the weakness.

But despite all of her attempts, Luke was sleeping over at her house when a storm arose. She tried to muffle the sounds of it by covering her head with a pillow. But it was no use. She could hear the violent whips of the tree's hitting each other as the wind blew them. The rain slithering down the windowpane. The big BOOMS of the thunder and the documentary-like flashes of lightning. She soon began to tremble. She just wanted to far back asleep, in the dreamland. Where nothing could scare her. But, what scared her more than the storm was Luke. He was sleeping; sound asleep, next to her. She tried to muffle her whimpering and tried to think of happy things. It wasn't very efficient.

Luke awoke to noises. Not by claps of thunder, but a small quivering cry next to him. He rolled over to face Lorelai. What he saw would haunt his dreams for weeks to come. She was wearing flannel pajamas (because they reminded her of him) and curled in a tight ball, with her knees touching her chin. She was shaking and no-tear cries were escaping from her mouth. He immediately sat up in bed.

She could hear him stirring next to her. She slowly opened her eyes-although her eyelids felt heavy. He gathered her in his arms, his hands wrapped around her torso, gently rubbing on her back. "Shhhh, it's going to be okay. I'm here, I'm here." He said it over and over, trying to soothe her as the storm worsened. When there was a huge spurt of thunder, her tears started to fall. She hugged him tightly, not caring if he saw this side of her anymore. He kissed every one of those tears away and kept her close to him. She could feel his heart beating as she rested her head on his chest.

He supposed that all they had to do was wait it out. Under his breath, he began to sing.

_Hush Blue Camel_

_All is alright_

_When morning comes_

_You will be fine_

Lorelai noticed it right away. "Louder." She said and snuggled deeper into his chest, wanting to be absorbed until it was over.

_Here comes Pink Camel_

_I love you_

_Hush Blue Camel_

_All is alright_

When he was done, she looked up at him. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears. "What is that from?"

"My mom used to sing it to me. When I would wake up with bad dreams-or need to be changed. She just sang it to me. It put me asleep every time. Calmed me."

Lorelai hugged even closer to him. He was her protector.

And before she knew it, the storm was weakening. They fell asleep like that, curled in each others arms. They hadn't really been much of a hugging couple, but that night was different. He wasn't just her boyfriend. He was her _soul mate. _Every thunder storm after that, they would check the weather, and if there was a storm predicted, he would stay with her, all night. He would take her in his arms and sing to her, softly. He would kiss away her tears and rub away all of the trembling.

That was the first night that she knew that she loved him.

But all was different now. She was married. To someone else. For the first time in Lorelai's marriage to Christopher, the weather predicted a storm. She couldn't run to her own house now, say she was sick, and suffer through the hardship alone. She couldn't leave. She needed to tell him-so he wouldn't freak out.

She walked into the kitchen. Christopher was sitting at the table, paying bills.

"Chris? Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure Babe, what's up?" Chris smiled and put down the bills.

"Tonight it's going to be a storm." Lorelai said, her head bent.

"Yeah, I heard that. A whopper."

"And…I know you don't know this about me, but I'm afraid of thunderstorms." She said it really fast, in one breath.

Chris laughed. He wasn't taking her seriously.

"I'm serious."

"Lor, come on."

"No, Chris." She had an edge to her voice. "I really am afraid and I…I…tremble and I cry. And it's loud. And you can't sleep around it."

Chris was silent for a moment. "Alright. Well, I'll sleep on the couch tonight. No problem." He kissed me on the cheek as a tear ran down her face. He didn't understand. He never understood.

"No. God, Chris, don't you see?" A big BOOM of thunder interrupted her. She shuddered. "I don't need you to leave, I need you to comfort me!"

"Well, Lor, I have to work in the morning. I don't want to be tired." Chris explained, as if this was the simplest thing in the world.

"Work? You'd rather care about work than your wife? You'd rather be rested for work and have your wife tremble and shake and cry by herself? Is that what you want?"

She didn't give him a chance to answer. "FINE. You can have it. Have your work and your non-comforting self. ALONE. Just please…be gone by the time I get back." She ran to the back door, yanked it open and ran outside.

Where it was pouring rain and the sky was grey. Where the thunder was ten times louder. Where there was no one to comfort her.

All she could think of was how much she wanted Luke to hold her tight and sing her that sweet song. She missed him. He was the only one who really got her.

Her head was a mix of feelings. Where to go? She saw Chris watching her shake and shudder and cry through the window. She turned away and ran as fast as she could to the center of the town. Heaving and weeping all the way.

It was ten o'clock PM. Everyone was at home, in their bed, waiting for the storm to pass. Except her. She was outside, in a storm, when she was totally and completely terrified.

Sitting in the gazebo, she started to get dizzy. Her head was spinning and all she could see was her minds picture of Luke. Singing to her.

Maybe it wasn't her legs that carried her. It was her heart, her heart that carried her to Luke's diner that night.

She pounded on the door, tears splashing out of her eyes. She was shuddering so much, she could barely stand. Soon, a PJ'd Luke strolled down the stairs. When he saw her standing outside the door, dripping wet and shoulders shaking, he ran to the door and ushered her in.

There was no time for awkwardness. "What are you doing here?" Luke asked, not mad really.

"Please Luke. Please. I will explain it all to you later, I promise I will. But please, please, just hold me again. Hold me like you used to do. Sing to me and tell me that everything is going to be all right." She was crying so hard that she began to wheeze.

Luke's heart melted at the frantic, hurt look on her face. He saw this woman before him who needed him. Needed him like he needed her. His decision was made, his mind was set.

He ran to her and hugged her so tightly. He picked her up and carried her all the way upstairs.

He placed her down on the bed and sat next to her. He pulled her into his lap and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She buried her face in his chest and wept. She kept mumbling, "I'm sorry, so sorry, song please, song, hurt you, so sorry."

It was a jumble of thoughts, tears, and emotions. She was getting snot all over his flannel sleeping-shirt but he didn't care. He did what he needed to do.

He stroked her hair with one hand and rubbed her back with the other. Then he sang.

_Hush Blue Camel_

_All is alright_

_When morning comes_

_You will be fine_

She gripped the sides of his shirt like she was in some kind of emotional pain. He stopped singing for a second, he was concerned. He'd never seen her this bad. He also couldn't help wondering if there were other reasons for this insane snot wiping crying. Did he put her through this? She lifted her head to look at him. Her eyes were filled with so many things. Love, Apology, but most of all, afraid. She was afraid. "Keep going. More and more."

He sang the rest of the song looking into her eyes the whole time, never blinking, never looking away.

_Here comes Pink Camel_

_I love you_

_Hush Blue Camel_

_All is alright_

He sang the song, over and over. He kept singing, way past when the storm ended. Eventually, she stopped crying and gripping and shaking. She was just trembling slightly and getting sleepy.

"Luke." She mumbled and hugged him closer. "Thank you. For everything. I am so…so…mean to you! No, I was a bitch. I was a lying, sneaking, cheater. And I hate myself for it. I really do."

"We don't have to talk about this now," Luke said. He personally wanted to, but he didn't want her to get upset again.

"No. We do." Lorelai took his hand in his. "I'm going to explain myself to you. Please listen. And if what I'm telling you hurts you, take it out on my hand. Squeeze. Hard, okay?"

She took a deep breath and wiped away her tears. "I was hurt. When you didn't tell me about April. When you postponed our wedding. I was so ready so get married. I was ready to settle my life down and have a family. I didn't want to wait. I didn't want to be one of those couples that are engaged all of their lives. I didn't want that!" The tears were rolling now. She gripped his hand tighter, as if what she was going to say was painful for her. "I wanted to have kids with you. I wanted to dress a little boy in flannel and a backwards baseball cap and call him William. I wanted that. My dreams, my wishes. I saw it all vanishing. Luke, I'm old. The end of my child-bearing days is fast approaching. I knew it was going back. We hardly talked any more. We hardly ever kissed. I used to come home, and we would tell each other about our days. And I cracked, okay? I did. It was wrong. I shouldn't have come to you that night, asked you to just go like that. And then, I made the biggest mistake of my life." Luke squeezed her hand now. Hard.

"I was delusional, and heartbroken. I know that's no excuse. I went over there because I needed a friend. Rory was with Logan, and Sookie has Jackson. I just didn't want to be alone. I was devastated. My best friend, my soul mate, the only man I ever loved, didn't want me." Her tears were pouring out of her face now. "I went to Chris's house to have someone to talk to. I drank a lot. I was drunk and I…" She was unable to go on. Luke squeezed her hand harder.

"Go on."

Lorelai took a deep breath. "I asked for him to. I told him I just wanted someone who loves me. He was willing. He didn't stop to realize that I was drunk and that I would regret this in the morning."

"Did you?"

"Did I what? Regret it?"

Luke nodded.

"Are you kidding? Of course I did. It was the biggest mistake of my life."

That said enough. Luke looked her straight in the eye. "The biggest mistake of my life was when I didn't come after you that night."

"Luke." She said softly.

Luke stiffened, although he kept holding her hand. "But you married him."

"I did," she said though her tears. "And I know why. I wanted so badly for someone who loves me to want me. To want to be married to me. But I wasn't happy."

"Why?"

She shrugged. Her voice was so small he could barely hear it. "Because it wasn't you."

They sat in silence for a moment, thinking. Luke was the first to speak. "Why did you come here tonight?"

Lorelai sighed. "I told Chris about my thunderstorm phobia and he laughed at me. Then he offered to sleep on the couch so he wouldn't be inconvenienced by my whimpering and be tired for work.

Luke gasped. "He said that?"

Lorelai nodded.

"So you came here."

Lorelai nodded again. "Because I knew I could always count on you. Whether or not you become my Luke Danes again or not, I knew you would sing me that song and hold me until it was over. Because I can rely on you."

"Do you want me to be your Luke Danes again?"

Lorelai answered without skipping a beat. "Yes. But I do think we have a long way to go before thinking about marriage yet."

"I agree. Lorelai, I am so sorry. I never should have lied about April. I am so unbelievably sorry. You mean everything to me and I was stupid. I do want you to be my Lorelai Gilmore."

"It's forgiven, Luke. Always forgiven." Lorelai asked.

"Ditto."

They sat there for a moment. "Come here." Luke said and Lorelai scooted towards him again. He pulled her into a hug, this time more passionate and loving. It was a hug that promised safety and honesty.

When they looked up from their hug, their eyes locked. And so did their lips. The kiss they shared was a mixture of love, fear, and 6 months of pent-up desire. They slowly inched backward on the bed. They could start over tomorrow.


End file.
